Waiting, and worrying, and trying to declutter

I’ll admit it- although I’m excited to get the keys to Dreams, and to move aboard our new home, I’m nervous too. I’ve been investigating internet options and the word on the cut is that I will only have 2G when I’m in the marina. Now, I’m not very technically-minded but even I know that 3G and 4G are the stuff to go for if you can.

I’ve got a TV, though we use it more for catch-up and DVDs than any live broadcasts. I use the internet a lot, though, and I think I’m slightly addicted. Perhaps once internet is restricted, I’ll be able to break out and do the other things I enjoy: writing, drawing, crafting, films on DVD, reading.

A small confession: I have become bad at reading. I resist things which will engage me emotionally because I find it so exhausting; therefore I read things which will entertain me but not challenge me. It’s an easier, lazier, less fulfilling world. I can’t remember the last time I read something which allowed me to be immersed in another world, deaf and blind to this one, with that huge “ahhhhhh” when you finish it and taking a while to come back to yourself.

Actually maybe I can. When Daughter was about one, I read all the Game of Throne books. If that really is the last time I was fully immersed, that’s four years ago. Four years. That’s really sad.

Despite this laziness, I’ve got a lot of books. I’ve read them all and have kept them on the shelves because I love books, I think they look beautiful and I believe they contain endless possibility within their covers, I’ve always wanted Daughter to grow up surrounded by books as I did. However, there just won’t be space for them so I need to whittle them down. This in itself is quite painful, but adding insult to that injury, the trade-in site Ziffit  “can’t accept at the moment” nearly all of them. Of course, I’ll give them to a charity shop, but it does break my heart a little bit. I’m keeping the ones I value the most, of course, and they’ll probably fill all the shelves pretty well- but the others, I’ll miss. All those books I read and enjoyed and have kept during each house move because whenever I’ve tried to filter them, I’ve read the synopses again and thought, oh yes, I might well read that again. Even though I haven’t. I have got an ancient Kindle, so I’m going to start putting things on there instead of on the shelves. (It’s not the same, though…)

 

Books are only part of the problem. I’ve a kitchen full of pans, pots, jugs, mugs, plates and bowls. Tupperware! The least attractive cupboard but one of the most-used. Three cast iron casseroles of differing sizes. Baking equipment! Daughter and I enjoy baking and used to bake a lot together, before we moved in here. I don’t want to think that that’s all ended, so the baking equipment has  to come with us.
Camping stuff! That’s bulky. Perhaps it can live at my parents’ house, which is quite spacious. Looking around, I end up being unsure what’s stuff and what’s furniture, most of which will be stored. I don’t know what I’ll need, what I’ll regret if I give it up. I’ve sold a few items of clothing but it seems not to have made a dent. Surely I need my jewellery box? My pictures- though how much wall space will I really have? The art and craft things? And what about all those things you keep just in case, which you don’t use for years and then throw away and immediately need?

Finally there’s the how is this going to work thing. Do I move the boat first, or pack up my things first? Will I need to find a car boot sale? Will I see Daughter throughout the period or will I have to miss her while I work?

I’ve a lovely vision of how this life is going to look when it’s all done (touch wood!) but how to get there from here is a tricky one to imagine. It’s also a bit daunting because of all the crutches I’ll need to give up.

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